It’s YOU (& me)… December 4, 2010

The following is the product of a conversation a few days back with a very dear friend of mine. I broke the ice with-

I was just contemplating why we live at all. Rather what are the things we do to live. Sometimes, or in most cases (just my assumption), living seems to be more like a compulsion than a passion. All these growing up, then looking for a job, family, grow old and die. Where’s ‘ME’? Where’s the individual we’re speaking about? But giving it a second thought, it’s all about ‘ME’. It’s human (in fact animal) nature to be naturally selfish. It’s like you study to get a job…why? For you-to earn YOURself luxury, not for some much needed altruism for the society. Then you need a partner…why? So that you can dump YOUR woes on someone, you can make someone take care of YOU. Then you have kids…again for YOU…not for the joy of creation, but simply as a provision for YOUR old age. Then you go for a second kid…to ensure YOUR security and shelter doesn’t go scarce.

But looking at it from a positive edge, although the self-centeredness is a driving factor, everything has a wider meaning. Studying for the joy of learning; here I’m not speaking of the academic theories of scholastic knowledge. Every person, on trying, can find a field of interest, and pursuing on that line, paradise is not too far. This of course gives an idea of a near perfect social situation where everyone can answer his/her call. Then earning for living (not the other way round); living in turn for happiness; happiness lies in sharing, living for others; here comes in love-wanting to submit to someone mind and soul-the companionship, the acceptance, to be able to bestow in entirety, the deliverance that comes with it. Kids-the pleasure of creation, bringing up is satisfaction, and then the delight in succeeding (and coping with failures in the process). Letting ‘ME’ subside and ‘OTHERS’ dominate can be a much better perspective for living. One also gets to know oneself better through others.

What I stated as my ‘positive edge’ is also stereotype I agree, but its stereotype with a purpose. And the purpose is happiness, liberation. I’d say stereotype brings happiness. That’s largely because of our social structure, its true. Shoving off stereotype with disregard may seem to be adventurous and revolutionary in the beginning, but is bound to lead to seclusion, because humans are social animals and it’s in their nature to flock together, follow others and make follow…it’s a psychological problem…all to ensure security. You disavow stereotype, you’ll virtually be trampled to death…death that comes from abysmal loneliness and rejection. That’s the appalling truth.

The other day I was listening to a talk show about the problem of separation. They were, at one time, discussing about the rampant rate at which separation is cropping up lives now-a-days. So the question was, was previous generations happier and more accommodating, less egoistic, more perfect than today? What the specialist said was so convincing. He said we don’t know whether or not they were good, they must also have had problems, and they must have had to adjust a lot too, many might not have been happy. But today, separation is a way out which they didn’t have the luxury of. It’s all about the society. Today’s society allows separation for good; yesterday’s didn’t.

This again gives an idea that we’re like rag dolls in the hands of the monster called Society. But while trying hard to free from its shackles, its role in guardianship must also be borne in mind. Monsters can be good mentors sometimes; after all we grew up reading fables about Aladdin’s genie and the giant who let little children play in his garden. Without some binding rules of the society, lives would have gone berserk. Who says grown ups don’t need a custodian?

This is what he had to say-

In return of the assured security, the society often snatches our individual freedom. Many may say freedom is good but worthless if people misuse it. Gandhiji had something to say in this regard- a freedom which doesn’t allow you to commit mistakes doesn’t hold any value. This kind of freedom is of great importance too. It helps us evolve as individuals. It is a recognized fact that we aren’t free in many respects. We don’t enjoy complete freedom of speech, there’s always the looming existence of a sensor board; books, movies still get banned. Somebody (I can’t recollect who) said “I don’t trust what you are saying at all, but to ensure that you can say what you want to, I won’t hesitate to even give my life.” This has to be the ideal mentality of the society. Keeping mum is hazardous. If you are against some notion, you have the full right to protest hard, but everyone should have the right to speak out however atrocious her comment maybe.

About stereotypes, they are surely underrated. There was a beautiful line in the movie Ratatouille- “In the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than us critics designating it so.” It takes a lot of guts to step out of stereotypes. And, when anyone is able do so, she deserves appreciation and honour, not seclusion and “O *a*a antel!” (“****ing intellectual moron!”) tag. Basically people are afraid of things they don’t understand. That’s why they are harsh on new things, new ideas. They are afraid because they love to stick to the old and secured. If they come to know what they had been treasuring for so long isn’t useful anymore, it breaks their hearts. To save themselves from heart-breaks, they find it easier to believe in “ignorance is bliss”. They don’t want to gamble. That’s why stereotypes are so popular.

I’ll leave it here to everyone for more arguments, counter-arguments and opinions.

Hakuna Matata!